Jap

From Merchants Guild™® Wiki
Jap
Jap.png
cunny? 😭
Born1973 (age 47–48)
Mae Kok, Thailand
NationalityThai
OccupationTech support
Relatives14 siblings

Jap is the original chaos entity of the Merchants' Guild. He streams under the name "van Darkholme" in the dark and desolate place called "Twitch". Jap is and will forever be the heartpiece of the guild, making it what it truly is.

Early Life

Arising from the cursed lands of Thailand, equipped with broken English and an insatiable thirst for cunny, Jap was and will always be ready to show everyone his newly acquired tastes. Said tastes include but are not limited to:

Jap is a so called rhythm pro gamer (codeword for closet pedophile) and never shies away from showing of his grooming skills in osu! and Roblox.

Incidents

  • The "jail is just a room" incident
  • The "hot young underage pussy" incident
  • The "i wanna fuck your boipussy and groom you gay nigger" incident
  • Jap himself is waiting eagerly for arrival of fellow merchants in Thailand so he can "rape their asses" and "fuck their boipussies".
  • Ants in the power supply.

Achievements

World Records

  • Most time spent in just a room for acquiring and distributing immense amounts of child-porn.
  • Most groomed newfags.
  • Biggest Ben 10 fanfiction collection.
  • Longest asian penis (2.93 inches).
  • Most kids in basement (estimates are in the high three digits).
  • Best Selling Hit record in the world, rumored to be 6 Million but the amounts vary drastically by the source. Our numbers here are verified by the ADL.

Discography

  1. 100 gecs feature: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGL6i7EVLNs
  2. Dead or Alive feature: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAJELj2zyHU
  3. Lady Gaga feature: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=886P23gEGz0
  4. I:^) feature: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FGDlmArbfQ
  5. Brainpower by Noma feature: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLWhXWQ9l5c
  6. Dota lavidihadiwam wam: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exE7M2oahNE

This article is not a hit job we are genuinely concerned about this man and the only thing receives from us, is true love.